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Age: Oh-so-sweet 17
School: SMK USJ4 --> almost done
Birthday: 24 August 1987
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Friday, September 05, 2008
I tried so hard
But they keep on coming
I want them to stop
I want them to go
But I can’t.
I’m tired daddy
I’m tired
Ramadhan is near
Eid is coming
I’m aging.
They try to understand
How can they
When I can’t myself
Where are you
I miss you I miss your love.
It keeps on hurting
Emptiness is pushing me
Once again daddy
I’m your little girl
I need you.
I don’t want to be strong
I don’t want to try
I don’t want to pretend
Please daddy
Ask God not to leave me.
God. It’s painful
I don’t want to feel it again
I don’t want to lose anymore
Take me take me take me
Don’t take anyone else from me.
20:33
24th of August 2008
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Sometimes the sun shines to bright
Sometimes the rain left me wanting
Without you it’s never right.
When they were shouting I wanted nothing
When she was crying I wanted everything
Without you the pain keeps on growing.
I saw a man pushing the grocery cart
With his little girl holding on to his shirt
I thought she was me, I thought he was you.
I was nineteen when you left
How can I see the future without you?
I wish I’m where you are now.
I try to be everything I need to be
You gave me all the love I needed
But I need you still, but we need you still.
You wanted me forever in your arms
I wanted you to set my wings free
You left and I want what you’ve always wanted.
You left and I keep on moving
But without your warmth I’m shivering
I tried to grow, I tried to be accepting.
It’s been years of trying, of crying
Time doesn’t make it any better
I can only learn to live with it.
If you see me cry don’t you cry
I’m your girl and I’ll never stop being one
But watch over me smile for me, don’t ever stop.
Mama
I cannot ask you not to worry
I cannot ask you not to care
I cannot ask you to let it pass
I can never ask you to stop being mama.
In a journey of too many choices
In the midst of life I am lost
In your warmth I find my hope
In your love I find my guidance.
We are at once what we are
We are at once your fear and your joy
We cannot feel what you feel
But beneath our whims is our love for you.
This is me now
I am your worry
I am your pain
I am also the contentious one
And I am no longer the girl I used to be
But love me still
But care me still
There’s not a day I can make through
Without your love
Without your care
Without your worry
To be my guiding light
To be my limitation redline
To always and forever be my mama.
We are not without our father
You are not without your husband
The past brought us today
The present is bringing us uncertainties
When all fails or falters
When our hearts are breaking
When our souls are weakening
With his love we fight this fight
With each other we live on his love.
To my dearest mama
With all my might I try to write
Words of thousands apology
Words of millions appreciation
Words to let you what this heart is singing
But it can never be
But it can never happened
Everything you are
Everything you give
Everything you swallow
Everything and everything
I can never be able to count
I can never be able to repay.
To our darling mama
For all the yesterdays that has passed
For all the tomorrows that are yet to come
For today and forever
For you and for ayah
For the love that light and guide us
Before the Almighty
Before the Most Merciful
We bow down and prostrate before Him
Thank you Allah
Thank you for your Love and Mercy
Thank you for mama and ayah.
Happy Mother’s Day Mama.
11th May 2008
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Bright Eyed
Life is like a flicker of fire
It’s like the lights of the firefly
When it’s on fire it shines brightly
Once it’s gone it’ll never return.
We keep on drowning ourselves
In miseries and melancholies
Isn’t it too short to let it go to waste?
While the birds are flying free in the sky.
Let’s not cry now and damn the universe
Let’s fly high now while we still can
Let’s shine now together with the sunshine
Let’s love now with all that is left within.
09:49
18/3/08
Friday, March 14, 2008
Another day gone
Another soul taken
Another heart crushed
Another love broken.
We cried
We smiled
We believed
Or so we thought.
Strong as we are
Together as we are
Accepting as we are
We are still just humans.
1.25am
14 March 2008
Friday, March 07, 2008
Are we gonna cry tonight?
Together with the rain out there
The night looks so hollow
So do I have to cry with you tonight?
The wonderwall has been shattered
Nothing left for us to climb up to
No other side to stay hopeful
When did everything go so wrong?
You never want it to be this way
All I want is to keep on wanting the sunrise
But we don’t need to wait for an invitation
What we have now is what is ours.
Stick it to the background now
Now that our hearts need to grow
Somewhere of tomorrow I’ll go
Something else I will turn to be.
It’s too blurry we’re so confuse
Why do we keep on asking why?
Never asking the right question
How will we ever get anything right?
3 March 2008
Friday, February 29, 2008
But the other one is holding a peace sign
I got one heart that was bruised easily
But my mind is resting in a passing serenity
I got one determination wanting another chance
But my dreams won’t take another wasted breath
I got one fairytale that lifted me up for days
But the monster in the closet slaps me cold and hard
I got one naivety that they fear for my dear life
But Faith promised to protect me for life and more
I got one vision this is worth the fight
But nothing is true when nothing is right
I got the stars shining bright in my eyes tonight
But gazing up the same place in the day blinds me
I got one thought that I am no longer able to cry
But one thought of another at once crystallize the eyes
I got one memory when we were catalyzing everything
But now all we have is a picture of a catastrophe
I got one moment when I shouldered all the blame
But something said showed the doubts were vindicated
I got one reflection we’ll beat the odds together
But suddenly I see that is not how it’s going to be
I got one might to be all that you want me to be
But what I really need is to be who I should be
I got one chance to be next to you yesterday
But today you showed me that’s not where I want to be
I got one hope the songs would be melodious again
But a poem written in disenchantment is all that happened.
20:09 21 February 2008
Friday, December 14, 2007
What I Longed For
If sunshine is what I need
I’ll step out and let the sun smile on me
But soon I realized I’m getting burned
No, skin cancer is not what I’m looking for.
If rain is what I need
I’ll let the clouds cry on me
But soon I realized I’m getting drenched
No, pneumonia won’t wash away my pain.
I’ll the music scream into my head
But soon I realized it’s deafening my brain
No, being a retard is not good for the soul.
If wealth is what I need
I’ll sweat with all my might and fulfill my desires
But soon I realized they are too perishable for my own likings
No, this will soon burn a hole in my pockets anyway.
But if felicity is what I longed for
Then eternal serenity is what I need
To cleanse my soul and purify my heart
To clear my head and rejuvenate my body
I know I need to find it within me
With the guidance of something Greater than all.
27th Nov 2007
10.30am
Pd
Who Needs A Father?
So who says we need a father?
A father sets a curfew against you
A father keeps on patronizing you
A father holds your driving license
A father thinks night-out is never for you.
Who needs a father anyway?
He’s the one that protects you from your fears
He too gets hurt whenever you’re hurt
He won’t tell you how you’ve hurt him
He believed what is more important is you’re not hurt.
So who says we need a father?
A father sets high expectations on you
A father always thinks you can do better
A father dreams for you
A father will never let you underestimate yourself.
Who needs a father anyway?
He believes in you even when you hate yourself
He looks at the sky coz he knows you’ll reach it
He is the one to help you pushes yourself
He knows you deserve the best coz that’s what you’re to him.
So who says we need a father?
A father gives you lectures and talks
A father wants you to follow his steps
A father scolds you
A father disciplines you.
Who needs a father anyway?
He advices you and lift up your spirit
He knows good and bad but let you decide
He holds you so you’ll never fall too deep
He loves you.
So who needs a father?
I do.
I not only need just any father.
I need my father.
I am what I am because of my father.
I love him and he loves me.
It’s a love sent from the heaven.
5 march 07 2:13am