Thank you, my dearest Friend

Going through each day
To make it all worthwhile.
Struggling through the nights
To ensure no tear will drop tonight.

Here I’m
Emotionless.
No, I’m not devastated.
I’m just in pain.
Scared of myself.
Scared of emotions.
Scared of the truth.

Why does my courage bring me down?
Is this what I’ve been waiting for?
All this years,
To be hurt?
To be let down?

Don’t tell me you’ve been acting.
Don’t crap about “great friendship”.
Don’t tell me you cared.
We never had anything.
It ends before it even starts.

I'm falling apart now.
In every way
I'm finding it harder
To get by.
There's a hole in my heart
And I don't know why.

Even after all this,
Tell me,
Why can’t I believe that you never cared.
Why did you looked deep into my eyes,
And I thought you saw through my heart?

Is this the end to my waiting?
Is this the end for our encounter?

Was it love?
Was it like?
Or was it just care and warmth?
Or what you told me,
Good friends?